How to Talk so People Will Listen

And how to listen so people will feel safe to talk. Wouldn’t you like to have all your relationships on that page?

A very important principle that has liberated me from the Doden School of Shutting Down and Blowing Up and is built on the skills of Compassionate Communication – this principle can save you from taking things personally, end those repeating arguments before they start, and elevate your relationships to a new level of respect and appreciation. When we can remember that we’re all human and doing the best we can with the awareness and skills (or lack thereof) that we have and –here’s the meat – Underneath our reactions, opinions and differences we all have the same universal needs, values, hopes and dreams.

• We all want our children to grow up safe, healthy and successful

• We all value honesty, consideration and respect in our dealings

• We all desire to have peace, happiness and ease in our lives

When we can hold our attention on these qualities – our common humanity and what matters most – we are more likely to be able to dialogue with one another in a way that leads to mutual respect and understanding. We are more likely to cooperate with one another from a place of choice and joy, rather than guilt or obligation. Instead of playing the blame game of “Who’s right”, we focus on building a quality of connection with ourselves and others that honors our respective feelings and needs.